“Mine”. She had heard the word for
the third time; she could feel the familiar breath on her lips. Fanen was here,
he had been for the past two days. She had finally regained consciousness, a
little tired and weak, she asked to see the doctor. “He just left now, he said
he will be back soon, I’m glad you’ve come around, how do you feel?” Edima
remained silent, Fanen had made her loose her baby and so he did not deserve
the privilege of being talked to. The baby had stopped moving after he had made
that negative statement. How could he ask if the baby would survive the stress?
Was taking a professional course while being pregnant threatening to her unborn
child?
He had never wanted the child even before it was conceived.
He had told her not to take in again. “Josemaria and Claire are enough bundles
of joy, let’s stop here”. She was disappointed and angry. Why would he say
such? “We agreed to have three kids, why are you saying this now?” she asked
him. His reason could have passed for that of love and concern, but to her, it
was the total opposite. He had almost frozen to death at the birth of Claire.
He had watched how his beloved wife wriggled in pain; how he thought she would
pass out from there and vowed never to undergo such experience anymore, neither
him nor her. “Don’t be ridiculous” Edima said, “Josemaria’s birth was much more
painful, it was my first time, remember? And you were away in Florida but I
still pulled through, so that isn’t a good enough reason”. He kept quiet, got
dressed for work, planted a kiss on her
forehead and then said, “Mine, I love you and I wouldn’t be happy with
myself seeing you undergo such pains again, I mean it and I hope you understand
also, enjoy your day”. Fanen was not a man known for many words. He was quiet
but very firm, the tone of his voice said it all. He meant it; he wasn’t ready
to welcome another pregnancy. She wept, prayed and hoped she could somehow
explain better to him. Just before their wedding, they had started to learn
about the Natural Family Planning which fully involves the man and his wife and
so, Fanen almost always knew whenever it was time to “roll” and when it was time
to “chill”. He always asked her to confirm his calculations and she had always
told him the truth.
Claire clocked five last month and Edima had been
experiencing this rush of emotions, she wanted to have another baby! “God, why
would a married man refuse to have children from his lawfully wedded wife?” she
prayed out loud, “Well, why am I stressing my head out, when I get pregnant, he
wouldn’t ask me to go for an abortion”. Two months later, she was rushed to the
hospital from work; she had slumped while climbing the stairs. “She’s fine” Dr.
Erhabor assured Fanen. He had dashed down to the hospital when he arrived at
her working place and was told that she had been rushed down to the hospital.
“Edima is six weeks gone, looks like her morning sickness is beginning to
arrive”. The words of the doctor struck heavily on Fanen, how come? He thought. “Thank you doctor” he forced a smile. “Dr. Erhabor
says you’re pregnant, this isn’t a mistake, is it?” he tried to ask calmly.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Edima asked in disgust and annoyance, he
had to stop all these. “People weep day and night to have this and there you
are interrogating me, God has given us this baby and I will carry it to its
full term”.
The months rolled by,
Fanen came to terms with his wife’s decision but promised himself that this was
going to be the last. At some point, Edima got enrolled for a professional course,
“You should wait till this baby arrives; it would be stressful for you both”.
Fanen had expressed his disapproval of her taking the course. “We will pull through;
Josemaria’s pregnancy was much more turbulent”. She had always used his absence
at their first child’s birth as a strong support to back up her points. It was
a few hours after they had gone to bed, she felt pressed and found her way to
the bathroom, “Fanen!!!” she had screamed his name, trinkets of blood had
formed into a pool in between her legs, her baby was gone! “We would evacuate what’s
left, be strong” Dr. Erhabor had comforted them. Instantly, she grew cold
towards her husband, “You never wanted it, you sent it away, you made my baby
go” she said as tears flowed down her eyes to form beads of sweat around her
neck.
Now she had come around, filled with uncertainty as to how
she felt right now, Fanen spoke before she broke the silence that had been
hanging between them. “Mine, I am very sorry, I love you. Yes, I would have
preferred that you didn’t take in but when you did, I was okay with it, I would
never have desired that this should happen. About your professional course, I
was only concerned about your health and that of the baby”. Yes, he loved her,
she knew, he had made it evident at various times and in so many ways. “It’s okay
now, I love you too” she reached out to him and he kissed her passionately in
return.
